Wednesday, July 6, 2011

You might be an Alaskan if:

You might be an Alaskan if:

by Janet Hillyer on Wednesday, July 6, 2011 at 1:19


1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a motor home on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going to Anchorage for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as: deer meat, beer, fish, and berries.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.

13. You know what Bunny Boots are.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a rush, because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

18. You didn't know what the word "county" meant, and we were never taught about "area codes"... 907 is all you had to know

19. You think bald eagles aren't that great

20. You know to go to Best Buy a month after a CD release because that’s when it will FINALLY arrive in Alaska

21. You wish seagulls came with a mute button

22. You can go to McDonalds and order off the $1.50 menu which they feel is equivalent to the $0.99 menu

23. You were appalled by the "Carrs-Safeway" merge a few years ago

24. You have to have a raven cage around your trash to keep them out

25. You go to school, work, or both in the dark and come out in the dark

26. 30 degrees is shorts weather

27. -10 is a bit nippy

28. Buses leaving school are delayed because a bear is in the parking lot

29. You tell people you live in an igloo for kicks

30. You don’t swim in natural bodies of water for fear of swimmers itch or beaver fever...or leeches

31. Having a moose in your front yard is a legitimate excuse for being late to school

32. There is nothing like Matanuska Maid...who cares about Meadowgold, Dairyland and Viva!!

33. You only go to the fair for turkey legs and a husky burger

34. You refer to the continental US as the "lower 48"

35. You get an attitude when you have to pay tax in the lower 48

36. There is 4 feet of snow the night before school and you STILL have to go.

37. If you don’t like the weather wait for 5 minutes and then go back out outside.

38. You sleep through an earthquake like nothing ever happened; the only way you know is because the clock fell off the wall

39. Salmon isn’t a delicacy, it's a staple

40. Halibut is beer battered rather than cooked some fancy way

41. 70 degrees is equivalent to 90 degrees in the lower 48

42. You know who "Sleeping Lady" is

43. During the winter you rarely use your freezer

44. You think $4 for a loaf of bread is cheap

45. A "cookout" is not all the time outside because it’s entirely too cold for all of that

46. You don't sleep in the summer because it’s too short to miss a minute of it

47. Half your friends own a sled (snow machine) and you think people that call them snow mobiles are idiots

48. You have been chased or know someone who has been chased by a moose at least once.

49. You’ve seen the northern lights, and you know why they are such a "big deal"

50. You know its all about the snow, DUH.

51. You know that Cattle Company has the best potato soup there is.

52. Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil or black blankets.

53. You know the two speed limits in Alaska: the ‘get outta my way limit’ and ‘taking cover limit’

54. You only watch the news when they announce the amount of the year’s dividend

55. Your school classes were never canceled because of ice

56. You have to start your car at least an hour before you leave so most of the ice and snow will melt off by the time you leave

57. You wear flips flops all year without getting sick

58. You've never seen cotton or tobacco growing, but your neighbor has a 30 acre pot field

59. You literally can’t leave the house without seeing some one you know.

60. You know the term "studs" isn’t referring to hot guys.

61. You have to ski in gym class

62. You know who "Binki" was, made fun of that stupid Australian tourist, and was so sad when he died.

63. You expect to see a moose crossing Tudor every time you drive down.

64. You give up and tell people in the lower 48 that you DO live in an igloo and you DO have a pet polar bear named Mishka when they refuse to believe otherwise.

65. You call someone without a crack in there windshield a tourist

66. You remember what Showboats was and you’re little sad it's gone.

67. When you go to the lower 48 you wonder where everybody's block heater cable is

68. You've been to the Peanut Farm for a drink but refuse to tell anyone...ever

69. Combat fishing isn't a joke, it's a religion.

70. You've seen a 2-month old moose get hit by a full-size van at 65 MPH, then get up and run off

71. Two words "Korn Fritters"

72. Your parents taking you trick-or-treating involves riding door-to-door in the car

73. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

The above list was written by my niece who was born, raised and still lives in Alaska with her husband and two beautiful Children.                                                                                                                                    Audrey L. Grant Girl, you are right on! I would add...
74. You know to take a jacket to the beach in July.
75. Your kids drive sleds (see above) and 4 wheeler's before they can ride a bike.
76. Your honeymoon includes bug dope.
77. Baby shower's include fishing poles.
78. An acceptable engagement "ring" is a gun.

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