Saturday, January 9, 2016

My House or My Home

When and where is that fine line of MY house, MY home, MY kitchen, living-room, yard, etc... I want things done this way. Put here or there, decorated like this or that.... At what point does that line fade away and you and your personality start to fade from your home and family?
It might surprise some of you. It sure has me! I would have thought that I had made a far deeper impact on my family with my constant stories of why this or that picture or ornament was special, what it's history was. (I started this very, very early with my kids as I went through life and death with all three of them just to bring them into this world.
And the last one it was very iffy whether I would live to see any of my children grow up.) 
Even now I live with high risk of return cancer so I have tried to pack all I need to teach and pass down into every fun packed, teachable, livable, talk-able moment!

But then there are times when, after being sick for so very long, I finally get up after a long stretch in bed and I feel so discouraged! Everything is different! None of my stuff is where it should be, rooms are rearranged, life goes on without me as if no big deal.
Don't get me wrong... I am SO GLAD, they are able to get on with out me! The first few years were very rough!
But, getting on with out me and erasing my presence are two different matters.Eradicating  my essence is what hurts. It doesn't feel like my living-room any more. It's like the "Grant Gang Hang Out" (J., J. & A.)