Better After???

After waiting for years to get some relief from the pain in my neck caused by pinched and damaged nerves, bulging discs, bone spurs and compressed spinal cord, I finally had disc replacement surgery in my neck two weeks ago.

I thought that it would be a miracle and I would feel 100% better. And in some ways, I guess I do but I am shocked at how much NEW pain there is!! DIFFERENT!

My shoulders hurt to move most of the time My head feels like a 15lb. bowling ball trying to balance on my wobbly neck. I JUST HURT! I am surprised at how long the pain from the surgery and the amount of pain I am feeling.

I also HATE my scar....

Trading Places

A friend of mine is doing a 30 day challenge in which she posts a picture online each day for 30 days. She has a list to go by. Yesterday her picture was supposed to be "a picture of someone you would want to trade places with for the day" this is the picture and note she posted.

Day 6 - a photo of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day. This is my friend Audrey. I have a great life, and it's so mainstream to trade places with someone better off than you. Of course, I'd wait till summer, so she could go to the beach for the day. :)

This is so very humbling and yet, how many of us would have thought this way?? Would I???

Prayer List in Pictures

I have always loved changing my desktop background. I have some beautiful ones that I have found and designed over the years. My favorites have always been the ones with a Bible verse or a meaningful quote that goes with the picture and my mood or even better, encourages and betters my attitude.
Back when my dear firnd Christine Sutton was dieing, her daughters posted some beautiful pictures taken out of her bedroom window, and some pictures of their family on their last vacation together. I copied them with a beautiful quote that made me think of her. And put it on my desk top for the longest time. Every time I looked at my computer it reminded me to pray for her and each of her family.
Even after Christine went home to be with her Lord and Savior I kept it there for a long time praying for my friends who were hurting.
In 2010 a friend of mine began to loose her Dad in his health battle. It was a long slow struggle but near the end it went way to fast. Once again my desktop became a collage of both better days when he was robust and healthy and current pictures of him with his girls and grandbabies. My Prayer Collage. Every time I looked at my computer I remembered to say an extra prayer for them.
As I have spent almost a year and a half (give or take) now, locked in my home. Unable physically to go, do, encourage, visit, help...any of the things I am used to DOING. I have learned to use my computer in as many ways as I can to minister to others. I blog, I FB, I email, and last but not least...I Picture Prayer List. When I know someone or several someones are going thru something extra hard. I add them to my Prayer Collage and each time I see them I know to pray for them.
It is now becoming a family thing without the kids realizing that it is a ministry. They are just curious to see..."Who do you have on your computer Mom?" So I show them the pictures and tell them why I am praying. Sometimes more info, sometimes less. But they know that the person, or persons on Mom's computer need to be prayed for. No out of sight out of mind prayer list that gets tucked in the Bible after prayer meeting and forgotten.
Right now my collage is STUFFED with my Uncles and Cousins from down south! And my parents. Both sides of the family are having to deal with some very hard blows right now, cancers, massive heart attacks, back surgeries, commas...But God is all powerful and He is in control. So I do what I can and pray all I can and the computer God has blessed me with is another tool I can use to help me in yet another way.

Health Update

Health Update: James and I flew to Anchorage at 6:30 this morning to get to Providence Hospital to see the specialist about my neck this morning. (We could have slept in...He was LATE!) He didn't show up till around 10:30am.

Now to the details...He went thru all my records and MRI's. He agreed with my Dr. that my neck has gotten much worse and is at the point of no return. It has to be fixed. And the only way to fix it in the shape it is in is disc replacement.... So I have to have several tests done between now and the surgery, but then he is going to replace the disks in my neck at c-4 thru c-7.He did find that he thinks I have a shoulder problem also. (One more thing to add to my list!) So he warned me that when he fixes my neck my shoulder and arm will probably not get better. When I fell and hurt my neck I must have hurt something in my shoulder and because my neck hurt so bad and the pain seemed to radiate, everyone figured it was part of the same problem. So he thinks that down the road I need to have my shoulder checked into. Of course he told us this is ONLY my neck. the rest of my back and hip problems with have to be delt with later.It sounds like when it happens I will be in the hospital two to three days. He will go in with an incision in the front of my neck on the left side. It will essintially be two procedures in one. He will remove the discs at 4-5 and replace and then remove 6-7 then he will put in a metal plate to lock it all together.I will have a drainage tube for at least two days and then if things go good he will remove it and I will get to come home to bed for two weeks. Then rest for four more. Then back for MRI"s or CT...to check on the healing and make sure everything "took". Then when I feel like I am ready for the next round...on to the next rpair project!! 42 and I'm already in for replacement parts! LOL My warentty sure wore out quickly!Thank you all for all the prayers so far and for the continued ones. This is scary and I never wanted to have another surgery but I guess God has other plans and I for sure want my life back so if this is what it takes, this is what I will do.

Thanks you all. Loma, I don't know who all knows what on which tests any more...I'm so confused any more, so if I repeat I'm sorry. Here's the basics. No stroke or anurisms ~good. Found that I only have one working artery in the back of my ...neck leading to my head instead of two. The other one looks to be malformed from birth which could be a part of my headaches over the years but not life threatening.My neck is much worse, it is collapsing on itself which is crushing the nerves. So I will be refered to a speciallist in Anch. She thinks at the very least I will need two discs replaced in my neck for now to get some relief. As for my mid back where I get the bad back spasms. She said this is in an area that can not be operated on and even though the scoliosis is getting worse and more painful it is something I will just have to live with and moniter with pain meds as much as possible. Finally, my siatic (sp) nerve and hip. That was always a problem but carrying two huge baby boys on that spot just damaged it more. She said eventually there are a few things can be done to give me some relief but I still might end up with surgery on the hip or in a wheel chair over time if the nerve keeps staying inflamed at the rate it is.So basicaly, I'm a mess head to hip! Not quite head to toe like we always thought but pretty close! LOLI know my spelling is awful but my head hasn't quit hurting for about 8 days now and I can't even see straight any more so I'm sorry. Health wise~ believe it or not~ I am getting better!! My fibromialga is as painful as always, but I am completely off of blood pressure pills, which has shocked the Dr's. they all said I would be on them for life and after 5 years, I am off of them. My Thyroid is doing well and I am on my second month without any meds for that. I have managed, even while being on bed rest for the last year, to lose 56 lbs!! So some things are looking up! Now if I could quit hurting and get some sleep!

2010 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It is so hard to believe that another year has come and gone once again. We hope that you all have had a blessed and productive year in 2010 and that God will bless each and every one of you in the coming year.


The James Grant family has had a good year all in all. James is still working as an in-home care giver. He is well loved by all of his clients. He does such a good job of taking care of them and goes above and beyond what his job calls for. Plus he has taken on my jobs this year and so is the shopper and bill payer as well as home organizer and chauffer

Mom (Audrey) has had a rough year, health wise, and has spent most of the year at home. There isn’t much change for me but I am hanging in there and am so very thankful for God’s faithfulness and the hard work of my family and the encouragement of family and friends and especially for those who have taken an extra interest in helping with the kids in their outside interests!

Mathew is an amazing young man! We are so very proud of him. At 15 years old he is in 10th grade and is on the basketball team. He has his drivers permit and loves to drive and has been my salvation this year, driving me around to Drs apts. and other places I needed to go when I couldn’t drive because of pain and/or medication. He has worked quite a bit in construction this year. He worked with his Uncle this summer and is working with a friend of ours now. He is learning a lot and really enjoys it!

Joanna has become quite a little “Momma”. She cooks and cleans like a little lady. She has her own cook book that she is making when she learns a new recipe she adds it to her book. She is a whiz when it comes to laundry and is quite the little bathroom cleaner! She just has a hard time keeping up and I feel bad that there is so much work for her to do. More of it has fallen on her shoulders in the last few weeks with Mathew working more and starting Basketball. She is doing so good with her school work. Her reading is doing pretty well. We found some books that she can read with the dyslexia and she is so excited and loves to read! She is also reading her Bible, it is very hard for her but she is proud that she is on Gen. Chapter 18 all by herself!! We are so proud of her!

Andrew is still “Chewy”! We are trying so hard to help him “grow up” but he is definitely the baby of the family and likes to milk it for all it is worth! Although he is starting to enjoy learning to cook so he’s coming along too. He is now quite expert at Mac-n-cheese which is pretty good for having just turned nine years old. He also cooks soup and ramen and a few other simple things. Joanna is trying to teach him to fry an egg but he is frustrated because he can’t seem to flip it without popping the yolk and he LOVES his yolk! LOL But he is our resident loader and un-loader of the dishwasher and is becoming quite a pro with the vacuum! So he is coming right along. He has decided that he doesn’t like home school. In fact he doesn’t like any school that isn’t Mrs. Ruffridge because “She makes school fun! She gives us cool stuff to do like projects and pulling seeds out of pumpkins and all kinds of stuff!”

So as you can see we are all doing good and hope that each and every one of you have a wonderful year in the coming year! We love you and are thankful to have you in our lives!

James, Audrey, Mathew, Joanna, Andrew

Pregnancy ~ The Journey

A very dear friend of mine is pregnant and coming towards the end of her pregnancy. She and a couple of other friends and I were discussing the last trimester of pregnancy and how uncomfortable it can be. But I responded to them in the following way...

35 weeks ~ with Joanna

Some times when you are going through it or have just recently gone through it, if it was a rough pregnancy, it can seem that way! I KNOW! But the farther away from the pregnancy you get, especially when you know you can't or won't ha...ve any more, the more you remember and treasure the wonderful moments and parts of each pregancy.



I had such a hard time with all of mine, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. Every memory of each pregnancy is something I treasure! Even the pain and hard times brought me my beautiful children!


I know, easy to say when it has been nine years since I have been pregnant. But I would do it all again in a heartbeat!


I guess that is one of the reasons I try to encourage women who are pregnant to relish, treasure and enjoy every moment, even the wierd and not so comfortable ones! Having waited and prayed for so very many years before I finally had my first baby. I know what a blessing it is to acctually BE pregnant! It's about enjoying every moment of the journey!