This has been such a rough week and a half for me. I know I am being selfish in thinking of myself when others are going through each of these in such a more personal way but they just seem to keep pileing up on me one after the other.
At one point this week I just wanted to drown my poor cell phone! It seemed like I was just getting one text and call after another of bad news and I was just cringing every time the thing went off!
It had really started quite some time ago with James' Dad finding out that he has a brain tumor and then finding out just before Thanksgiving that it had grown and was going to have to be removed with surgery. So we were all kind of holding our breath with that.
Also my cousin Cathy who lived in TN. and had had cancer once before was very sick again and I knew she wasn't doing well.
But then that night late I got a text that my cousin was in a coma and they had called in the family. The next morning I got the news that she had passed away.
While I was still trying to take this in we got a call to come to the hospital because my father-in-law was in the hospital for emergency surgery for a gall blader that was three times it's normal size, had ruptured and was gangrenous! He's 71 years old! And we were worried about his brain!!
By late that night he had had a successful surgery and was out of danger, but I was physically and emotionally drained!!
BUT within a few days one of my friends who has a pace maker had to have her appendics removed in the middle of the night. Another friend's husband also had to have emergancy gall bladder surgery!
And now two days ago we find out that my Uncle has lung cancer that has spread to his brain and the Drs have sent him home, telling him there is nothing they can do!
Then last night we found out that one of our children has been going through a time of stress and trial and something is really bothering them and now we have that burden to bear with and for them! They will be ok, but we may not! (Isn't that the way it goes?!?!)
I just don't know if I can take much more!
I am an emotional wreck! I'm doing my best to lay it all in God's hands and leave it there. But I am so sad I am haveing a struggle with haveing JOY in my day to day right now. Being down and sick is sooo very hard during the normal day to day times of life. When things are this rough it is very hard. I know God is still on His throne and in control. I just have to not let myself get too far down. I have to keep "lifting up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." Psalm 121:1
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