I haven't written here in a very long time. A lot has happened in my life since I last posted. I have written some in the last year and a half but I was posting on a semiprivate blog as I really wasn't ready for comments and others to see what I was writing and going through. 

I am thinking that I will move those posts over here in the coming weeks and merge that blog into this one. 

So, what has been happening?

A year and a half ago my husband passed away of the Delta Variant of Covid 19 after only 5 days. We didn't even know he had it. We thought he had a cold for a few days and his asthma was acting up. His inhaler ran out on the weekend and of course he couldn't get a refill from his Doctor till Monday, so I talked him into letting me run him to the E.R. 

They wouldn't let me in because "Covid"... so I dropped him off and said, call me and I'll pick you up. They did a "quick covid test" to let him in the doors and he explained what he needed. They put him in a cubicle, and he waited for a Dr. to come talk to him. 

Soon they come rushing in all geared up and informed him he had "Popped Positive" for Covid, and he had to have a chest ex-ray since he was struggling to breathe. Next thing we knew he was admitted and five days later he was gone!

From my strong invincible husband to gone in five days! I have been trying to deal with the aftermath and pick up the pieces and learn how to live without him, get a job to support myself after being sick for over 10 years and unable to work... the list is endless. It has been a long and very hard year and a half. 

I had to move out of our home he bought me as a newlywed because I couldn't afford to keep it but I can't sell it because it isn't in my name it's in his so my son and his family have been living there for the time being paying the bills to keep it out of foreclosure till the probate goes through while I am renting a one room cabin of some friends for the moment. 

A lot of changes.

I'm not okay but I am... It's hard to describe. I feel like a half of a person walking around most of the time. But I'm learning to live without the one who made me whole and complete. I know I'll be alright; it just hurts so very bad while getting there.