"Home Is Where The Heart Is"

I can't hardly imagine moving again! I am willing to but shiver with dread at the thought of doing so! We bought this house almost 18 years ago also! (WOW) As a PK/MK who was used to moving when God told Dad, "Go", the thought of buying was very scary for me! I felt like it was telling God, "No" We aren't flexible, willing to go or obey."

But I was wrong! 12 yrs ago we both felt the call to "Go". So we went! We put the house on the market (well we tried, and tried and even relators we knew "couldn't" get it done???! (God maybe?)

We spent two years at the Church there in KY. LOVED IT! An instant home just like our old one in Alaska! We felt we were Home!!

But after two years God said, time to go back! We were so torn! It's like having two lives! 

But the house had never sold and the family member who had been caring for the place was worn out with all of her travel, working two jobs 250 miles apart! Iy was horrible for her! (Thank you Sweet Amy G!) 

 So... We bought this when we got married, moved in with my (soon ours) three year old son Mathew, followed a little over a year and 1/2 later by our premie Joanna and 18 months later our miracle Andrew!

My House or My Home

When and where is that fine line of MY house, MY home, MY kitchen, living-room, yard, etc... I want things done this way. Put here or there, decorated like this or that.... At what point does that line fade away and you and your personality start to fade from your home and family?

It might surprise some of you. It sure has me! I would have thought that I had made a far deeper impact on my family with my constant stories of why this or that picture or ornament was special, what it's history was. (I started this very, very early with my kids as I went through life and death with all three of them just to bring them into this world.

And the last one it was very iffy whether I would live to see any of my children grow up.) 

Even now I live with high risk of return cancer so I have tried to pack all I need to teach and pass down into every fun packed, teachable, livable, talk-able moment!

But then there are times when, after being sick for so very long, I finally get up after a long stretch in bed and I feel so discouraged! Everything is different! None of my stuff is where it should be, rooms are rearranged, life goes on without me as if no big deal.

Don't get me wrong... I am SO GLAD, they are able to get on with out me! The first few years were very rough!

But, getting on with out me and erasing my presence are two different matters.Eradicating  my essence is what hurts. It doesn't feel like my living-room any more. It's like the "Grant Gang Hang Out" (J., J. & A.)

1/8/16