Showing posts with label Just Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just Me. Show all posts
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday Morning SunShine?
Thankful I get to go to church this AM. Sad I can't go to Sunday School. I'm up but my hands are shaking with the pain so I'm having to take some meds and James is making me wait an hour then he will drive me in. Slow typing, but bette...r than sitting and feeling sorry for my self. I wish Sunday school was online also...My verse this morning is, "Be careful for nothing but in EVERTHING by prayer and supplication WITH THANKSGIVING (the part I often forget)let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, whech passeth all understanding, shall keep ...your hearts and MINDS through Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7 (The bold words are the words God is working on me with today!!) These verses with my sister, Myra's lesson yesterday have really worked on me and my attitude about where I am physicaly and accepting it as where God wants me, it is no accident... My attitude about it is the issue!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
"Mousie" No More!!
At a very young age, like my Mom, I started to get some grey hair but I had enough other colors, (Charlie once counted and found 14) to make them not real noticable at first. But after 12 years of a not so good marriage, LOL, and a divorce I had a LOT of grey hair!
By year 5 in the marriage, the first time Charlie told me he didn't love me I walked to Safeway and bought a box of hairdye for the first time and dyed my hair. I bought the wrong color of course!....... My hair was FLAMING orange! It was horrid!
Charlie didn't even notice that I had done anything and Kenney asked if I had bought a new blouse! LOL
The next day I went back to Safeway and got another color and tried again. It ended up way to dark of a red but it was way better then ORANGE!
From that day on I dyed my hair. Not a lot at first, but just enough to cover the grey and as close as I could get to my natural color. Then as the years went on and I became a single mom it became more about the cheapest brand I could buy and that often turned out burgandy or some other wild color!
James has salt and pepper hair that is beautiful black and silver as does my mom. And so when my Mom suggested that I was almost 40 I should grow out the red and go natural I did. It took a long time. First James cut 13 inches off for me to send to locks of love. Then my Mom gave me a hair cut and kept it trimmed for me as it grew out over the next year. Then I turned 40 in January and it has been finally getting a little length back on it. Not a lot because my hair grows so very slow. Then in the store (Safeway in fact) Mathew told me I should dye my hair back to red that I looked mousie with the grey and I even act more mousie now. He said I should wait 10 years until it is all grey and beautiful like Mamaw's to grow it out again!
So today I dyed my hair back red again and I am glad I did! I like it.
By year 5 in the marriage, the first time Charlie told me he didn't love me I walked to Safeway and bought a box of hairdye for the first time and dyed my hair. I bought the wrong color of course!....... My hair was FLAMING orange! It was horrid!
Charlie didn't even notice that I had done anything and Kenney asked if I had bought a new blouse! LOL
The next day I went back to Safeway and got another color and tried again. It ended up way to dark of a red but it was way better then ORANGE!
From that day on I dyed my hair. Not a lot at first, but just enough to cover the grey and as close as I could get to my natural color. Then as the years went on and I became a single mom it became more about the cheapest brand I could buy and that often turned out burgandy or some other wild color!
James has salt and pepper hair that is beautiful black and silver as does my mom. And so when my Mom suggested that I was almost 40 I should grow out the red and go natural I did. It took a long time. First James cut 13 inches off for me to send to locks of love. Then my Mom gave me a hair cut and kept it trimmed for me as it grew out over the next year. Then I turned 40 in January and it has been finally getting a little length back on it. Not a lot because my hair grows so very slow. Then in the store (Safeway in fact) Mathew told me I should dye my hair back to red that I looked mousie with the grey and I even act more mousie now. He said I should wait 10 years until it is all grey and beautiful like Mamaw's to grow it out again!
So today I dyed my hair back red again and I am glad I did! I like it.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I Hate Pain!
I know... Everyone hates pain. But it has become such a part of every waking and even most of my sleeping moments that I sometimes feel I will go crazy just because I can't ever get away from it. It is never gone. It lets up, with medication, but even then I can still feel it in the background.
I HATE being less than the best that I can and should be for James and the kids and the church and my friends. I can't stand watching my housework go undone or wait until James and the kids can get it done.
I know I keep saying hate and can't stand and feel and all the selfish words that make this blog all about me but at this moment I am feeling very selfish and selfpitying. I just want to be "Me" again.
I know that God has a reason for allowing me to be where I am right now in my life, so I am trying not too complain. After all, I've survived cervical cancer and ovarian cancer. And I am letting pain be my thorn that drives me to my knees. I am very ashamed of myself, and yet when I am wracked with pain, I have a hard time focusing on what I should.
I look at towers of strength like Christine who don't complain no matter what and I feel like such a failure that I can't even make it thru one cotton-pickin' day without whinning.
How do I overcome this? I don't know. This is my ongoing battle and I will see if I can keep posting as I learn.
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